You were born at Queen's Hospital in Romford, on February 25th, 1990. 'Congratulations! It's an Essex girl!' announced the midwife, scooping up the false eyelashes and bottle of fake tan that had popped out with the afterbirth. Your mum and dad had only been together for a matter of months, but they were delighted to have you.
Your mum was Miss Chingford 1988, and you inherited her blue-grey eyes and wavy golden hair.
Your dad - Tommy 'Dodger' Sullivan - was a used-car dealer, and you got his sense of honesty and fair play.
They called you Shampayne, after their favourite drink, spelt the English way. Right from the start, Mum made sure you made the best of yourself.
Sometimes, it was hard - you weren't allowed to play in the sandpit because you might break a nail, and it was almost impossible climbing trees in highheeled wedges - but you knew she had your best interests at heart. 'You're going to make something of yourself, Shampayne,' she'd tell you at bedtime, as she read to you from the Argos catalogue. 'You've got beauty and lack of brains - the full package.' So begins your glittery, glam and G-stringtastic life as Shampagne Sullivan. What happens next in her story? You decide. The twists and turns of her rise to fame all depend on the choices you make.
Should you sleep with Crispin, dump Dean, have Reece's baby or date Kyle?
Is a sex tape a good idea, or should you just take your clothes off?
OMG, so many decisions to make!
- Format: Paperback
- Pages: 224 pages
- Publisher: John Blake Publishing Ltd
- Publication Date: 02/04/2015
- Category: Parodies & spoofs
- ISBN: 9781784183318