Summary of Steven Stosny's Living and Loving after Betrayal EPUB

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.

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#1 The pain of intimate betrayal is real and comes from a primitive part of the brain that developed to protect us from leaving the tribe. It is highly irrational, but it is nonetheless powerful.

#2 Intimate betrayal is defined as a sudden revelation or a gradual realization of your partner having lied, manipulated, stolen, or cheated. It can be difficult to deal with, as it can strike suddenly and unexpectedly, or it can be a gradual realization of your life never being the same after your partner’s betrayal.

#3 betrayal and anger are typically inseparable, for a while. The reasons are more biological than psychological. Anger temporarily numb pain and provide a surge of energy to overcome perceived threat.

#4 The cycle of anger and resentment that typically follows intimate betrayal is: you think about the betrayal and get angry. The anger increases your energy, confidence, and sense of power. Then the amphetamine crash happens. The loss of energy and power create a void that is soon filled by self-doubt, depressed mood, or numbness.