You Have More Influence Than You Think : How We Underestimate Our Powers of Persuasion, and Why It Matters Paperback / softback

If you’ve ever felt ineffective, invisible or inarticulate, chances are you weren’t actually any of those things.

Those feelings may instead have been the result of a lack of awareness we all seem to have for how our words, actions and even our mere presence affect other people. In You Have More Influence Than You Think social psychologist Vanessa Bohns draws from her original research to illustrate why we fail to recognise the influence we have, and how that lack of awareness can lead us to miss opportunities or accidentally misuse our power. Weaving together compelling stories with cutting edge science, Bohns answers the questions we all want to know (but may be afraid to ask): How much did she take to heart what I said earlier?

Do they know they can push back on my suggestions? Did he notice whether I was there today? Will they agree to help me if I ask? Whether attending a meeting, sharing a post online or mustering the nerve to ask for a favour, we often assume our actions, input and requests will be overlooked or rejected.

Bohns and her work demonstrate that people see us, listen to us and agree to do things for us much more than we realise—for better, and worse. You Have More Influence Than You Think offers science-based strategies for observing the effect we have on others, reconsidering our fear of rejection and even, sometimes, pulling back to use our influence less.

It is a call to stop searching for ways to gain influence you don’t have and to start recognising the influence you don’t realise you already have.